What Sex Means

From boomer to Gen Z

You complete your dating app profile with several flattering pictures, and a paragraph describing yourself as being honest, a little wild, with an edgy sense of humor, and you send it out to the world.

After searching, swiping, and salivating, you send out a bunch of, “I really like your profile…” messages.

And before you know it you’re meeting a virtual stranger at the local Starbucks.

Your heart skips a beat when she reaches for your hand and you realize it’s game on.

You go back to your apartment, have a drink, and go into the bedroom.

She casually undresses, and you do the same while engaging in some meaningless small talk.

You don’t know each other very well and there are some awkward moments and giggles, then the kissing and the rubbing, and finally, meaningless, recreational, edgy, dangerous, illicit sexual intercourse happens…your mind is ablaze with disbelief, adrenaline, and confusion.

Afterward, she leaves.

Within seconds, you both get back on your phones, responding to the latest batch of messages from other interested potential sexual partners.

When your friends in serious relationships or marriages ask you if you’re ever going to find someone that you want to want to have more than just sex with, you say maybe.

Sex is viewed on a continuum. On one extreme, it’s dirty, sinful, and strictly for procreation. And on the other, it’s purely for pleasure.

Up until a few decades ago, the accepted pathway to sex was: 1. Date. 2. Get to know someone and their family through a process of conversations and sharing of thoughts and ideas. 3. Get married. 4. Add sex to what had become a deep, respectful, spiritual, and loving relationship.

Sure. Many had sex before marriage, but the concept was to view sex as evolving from a meaningful process and set of experiences. For the majority of folks, casual sex was forbidden and strictly for prostitutes and the immoral.

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