I will resist

If I sit at the keyboard, not this keyboard (actually I’m not writing this at a keyboard at all). If I am tempted to sit at the piano, a real piano, with keys, hammers, dampers and strings, tempted to sit there tempted like a drug an addiction one that will kill me…

A professor after seeing yet another composition asks, ‘how do you come up with these, where do all these ideas, how can you write so much?’ I answer truthfully though he may not believe in his envy “It’s a curse.”

A blank sheet of paper, a black music staff, an instrument piano, reed/wind/string calls the sirens, sidhu, sylla, take the myth you prefer, I cannot know your addiction. Most likely you do not really have one.

It is not discipline. It is the fact, the object… here is an idea a piano, sit, touch the keys black, white no matter touch see what happens hear the essence.

Or a more seductive problem. There you are and now you see and wish to feel what I wish to conceal — my attraction. This is not sex this is addiction.

I want away.

I will not sit at the piano or bass or clarinet…I will resist and go to bed.

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