How I Found the Ultimate Hobby for Parents

Like a lot of new parents, I struggled with the devastation being a father wreaked on my precious ‘me’ time. That was until I discovered a new hobby which helped all the new pieces of my life fall into place…

I know it’s selfish. I make no excuse. But when I was told I was going to be a father, I wondered fearfully about what that would mean for my own interests, hobbies, and free time.

Now don’t get me wrong, my overriding feeling was one of intense joy. I was absolutely over the moon to find out I was going to be a dad. This was planned, more than that — it was what I had dreamed about for years, a truly special and remarkable thing that instilled within me feelings of immense pride and total fear all at once.

But as the days, weeks and months crept past and my partner’s pregnancy moved forwards, I noticed this nagging voice in the back of my mind that gnawed at me; that poked and prodded and kept on whispering ‘what does this mean for me?’

As a natural introvert, I have always deeply valued time by myself. In the same way that extroverts need other people to provide them with their energy, creativity and spark, nothing recharges me or nurtures my own mental health quite like being on my own to work, rest or relax.

It’s perhaps no coincidence that the hobbies I’ve developed and come to love over my life are mostly solo pursuits: running, reading, hiking, cycling, chess, golf. Sure they can all be enjoyed communally, but at their core they’re all built around the essence of individual experience.

When my first child was born my life changed in an instant. Everything that had come before seemed smaller somehow; my future now enormous with the enduring prospects of love, responsibility, fun, and constant unmoving worry.

So all-consuming is parenting, particularly in those early days when you haven’t a clue what you’re doing (spoiler alert: this never really goes for good) that I didn’t even notice the old areas of my life fading away. And when I did the funny thing is that, despite all the worrying I did beforehand about losing those parts of my life that were exclusively mine, when it actually happened, I didn’t mind.

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